Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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