Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
