Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
