He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
