WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
