He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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