Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
