Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
