no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
