I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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