so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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