ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
