Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
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It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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