My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
