Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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