Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
