Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize