What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize