You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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