I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
