I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
