Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We are two peas in an std pod
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
