i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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