just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
