Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
PANTIES FOUND
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