i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize