You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
