I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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