I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
