once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
