Sponge bath it is.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
how drunk are you?
Several
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
