well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize