i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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