Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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