She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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