I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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