WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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