they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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