It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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