did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
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I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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