if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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