Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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