at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
