I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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