yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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