that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
