Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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