Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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