is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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