I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
