get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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