the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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