I got chris browned last night
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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