I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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