Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
