this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
